Relay Writing: In the future...

In the future, I will be a person who I can’t even imagine. The reason why I can’t imagine my future is because everything is in constant flux. The world will change and I will change even after a few minutes or seconds. This makes the life unpredictable and at the same time, it is the part that actually makes my life to be opened to numerous opportunities and possibilities. So I can dream whatever I want and freely imagine how future me will be like. I will grow and get away from the nest which no longer fits my grown body. I will go to the place with more strangers and more things to learn. However, this uncertainty always leads me to think about the dark parts, even about the existence of my future. Maybe I will fail to get away from the old nest and get stuck forever. Maybe my life allowed by God is so short that I will no more be able to exist in the world several hours later. I will change into a dust, reintegrated to nature, and follow the rule of the nature waiting for the re-born. No matter what I turn out to be, however, I know this: I will always change, (and my life is unpredictable), but I will always be me. They say that nothing lasts forever, and this is true. I cannot even start to predict what I will become. However, all the process that I go through will be a part of the whole, humorous facets of myself. But what if this change kills me and erases my existence from the world? What if the next move I make will make me fall off my nest? Is it worth making the change, risking my life? This isn’t up to me. I’m not the one making the change. We can find some examples of people who challenged their life in order to make changes. For example, pilgrims settled on the American continent for their freedom of religion. Actually, it was a risky process, but they finally changed their life. I can also change my life by making the change by myself. So to make a change, I just decided to ruin my AP tests. None of those standardized tests can restrict my personality and my possibility. There is a famous saying, “failure is the mother of success.” So by facing the planned failure, I can dodge to the higher place. Goodbye, my old nest! Old AP!

I suddenly realized that I have two personalities coexisting in myself. One feels afraid of change and unpredictable future, another happily accept the fact and look forward to the next step with the spirit of an adventurer. Neither side actually makes me feel comfortable, especially at a time when I have 4 days left for the AP exam. As I've previously mentioned, I really want to let it go like Elsa because I can't hold it back anymore. However, the important part is that I will still be me no matter what change happens in my life. So I decided to let everything come and go as they are! Hakuna Matata!